I'm not sure what to do or what to say, and I haven't felt like this in a long long time. I felt that, for the first time, I couldn't talk to you about something that I'm feeling, because it concerns you. I guess it all began when I waited at your void deck for close to 2 hours, and I really didn't know where you were and what you were doing. I couldn't shake off a thought that you were with someone and that you were keeping it from me. I don't think I'm being unreasonable, I do think I'm being insecure, and this insecurity is unhealthy. I don't think anyone reads this anymore, and that's probably the only reason why I'll post this here. What am I really looking for? If I really do find it, what would I do? Fuck.