I'm pretty easy going these few weeks, and I actually didn't know why. I'm having more time off council work than I ever had before, and this gave me a wonderful time to relax and study. Actually, I think it's because that I haven't been busy with school work before, and only busy with non academic aspects such as the work in council.

Recently I commented about getting good math test results, and I got it. Or as compared to the previous test, any test would count as an improvement. I got a 20/25, that's a 80% and a A for math. Jumping from a F to a A, it's a start and will be common for me in the months to come. Mathai, I told you that it is really pure bad luck that I hit a 6/30 for the first test. I'm really having mental block. Hope this test result will wipe that bad impression of a slacker me from your dark brain.

Getting back to the point, I must say that consistent work is realy the key to doing well in anything, and that especially holds true for JC life. Life isn't as simple as last minute revisions before O levels and prelims anymore, and while not doing homework in the past will make no difference between scoring well or not, but it creates this whooping gap in JC when you didn't do your tutorials even when you weren't asked to do it.

Now comes my insecurities. And that only implies that I'm really worried. I'm really worried about not being able to do well enough in JJ to get promoted to J2, and let alone A levels. Imagining how demoralising it feels when you are not doing well in JJ, and you're sitting for an exam where even HCI and RJ people are going to take. What percentile do you think you'll be when there's only less then 15 schools offering A level papers? It may be a long way off, but thinking about it, I had never felt like this in secondary 3, in the july to august period.

Am I paranoid?

My goals are set, and I hope to be ranked top 150 of the cohort, and that's a very high expectation of myself already. Sometimes I'm just tired of thinking too much, but noe, this really had turned out to be a far worse thought.

All About Loving You
Bon Jovi

Looking at the pages of my life
Faded memories of me and you
Mistakes you know I've made a few
I took some shots and fell from time to time
Baby, you were there to pull me through
We've been around the block a time or two
I'm gonna lay it on the line
Ask me how we've come this far
The answer's written in my eyes

[Chorus:]
Every time I look at you, baby, I see something new
That takes me higher than before and makes me want you more
I don't wanna sleep tonight, dreamin's just a waste of time
When I look at what my life's been comin' to
I'm all about lovin' you

I've lived, I've loved, I've lost, I've paid some dues, baby
We've been to hell and back again
Through it all you're always my best friend
For all the words I didn't say and all the things I didn't do
Tonight I'm gonna find a way

[Chorus:]
Every time I look at you, baby, I see something new
That takes me higher than before and makes me want you more
I don't wanna sleep tonight, dreamin's just a waste of time
When I look at what my life's been comin' to
I'm all about lovin' you

You can take this world away
You're everything I am
Just read the lines upon my face
I'm all about lovin' you

[Guitar Solo]

[Chorus:]
Every time I look at you, baby, I see something new
That takes me higher than before and makes me want you more
I don't wanna sleep tonight, dreamin's just a waste of time
When I look at what my life's been comin' to
I'm all about lovin' you

All about lovin' you

Anyway, Pearleen PAO, you still look as bimbo as ever. Saw the picture you took with Chinchye today, and Derek, if you're reading this, tell your brother that he's in good hands, and you look as different in photograph. You look as blur as him in a photograph, but I remembered you to be a sharp looking guy. Pity can't make it today for the investiture, and Shilin, say sorry to Clovis for me. Thanks.

Missing, and missed.