Life is a burden now. Everything is a burden. Studies, work, revision, life. Things are not turning out the way I expected. All of them. I'm trapped in a world which only I can escape with a key, which I had. The key is needed to be carved into the suitable shape to fit into the keyhole. I'm not carving it now. I'm not even touching the key.

Why not? Why am I not trying to take the only way out of this mess?

I'm a stranger to myself now. I don't even know me. I can't understand why am I doing things which I do not want to, and thinking about things which there's no use to think about. I'm not sure if I am doing anything productive, and I'm not sure if what I do make sense. I'm not recovering the way I'm suppose to, and most importantly, I'm unable to do anything now. Anything. Anything at all.

It's been so long since I'm last thinking about anything at all. It's been months since I wondered why. Why is it possible for me to be so casual around others in school, and everytime in solitude, I'm just here and there, like a ghost, unseen by all, unheard of, unable to be heard, unable to hear. I look into the mirror everyday to see someone who's not me at all. That someone can give a casual smile and make lame and sometimes sarcastic remarks, while I'm that guy who is not even sure I had looked into that mirror.

It's like there's two totally different me(s). Myself and I. Both seems to be the exact opposite of each other. Ying and yang. To think of the uncertainty which lies ahead of me, I'm at a lost. Through all the materials I've gone through, none seemed to have a direction for me to go to when all you feel around you is a sense of nothingless, a sense of being lost, of being nowhere at all.

Myself and I seemed to have something resembling a sort of operating hours. Sometimes it's Myself who's mending the body, mostly in school and when the body is out with my friends, while it's I who takes the job of mending this body while it is without it's friends. Neither seemed to be doing a good job.

Neither of them are Me. This body belongs to Me, yet he's somewhere away from this body. Nowhere.