WARNING, FOUL AND UNPLEASANT LANGUANGE WILL BE DISPLAYED IN THE FOLLOWING POST. SHOULD YOU AT ANY POINT OF TIME, BE OFFENDED OR OTHERWISE, GO TO HELL.

The moment I sat foot into the house at 11.46pm, after a long day out, I called my parents in China. They had wanted me to call yesterday night but I was out filming for Project Pilot at Jurong East. They told me the usual, not to use the computer for too long as this year is important, etc etc. My dad said that if I do not know how to control myself, he would have to ask my brother to dismantle the computer until the end of the O Level Examinations. I know this would come, I'm prepared to sacrifice computer time for studies. Then after the call, I was f**ked up by my f**king half-naked brother who just walked out of the f**king bathroom.

Brother: Have you called mum and dad?
Me: Yes.

Brother: What did they say?
Me: Not to use the computer too long, they didn't talk much as they were about to sleep.

Brother: Oh, one more thing. Dad told me to dismantle the computer, but what I would do is just take the internet access at home away, permanently. Or at least until your exams are over.
Me: What! Dad never told me that. He just told me to not use the computer for too long that's all!

Brother: I think you can call and confirm. Afterall, if you ask them about what they told me is true, they may take my suggestions. So it's up to you to believe me or make them believe you.
Me: Dad never told me on the phone just now. I'll confirm tomorrow.

Brother: Anyway, even if Dad didn't say anything about dismantling, I'll still take away the internet access.

WHAT THE F**K IS THIS!! Obviously he's f**king lying about the f**king situation. There is no f**king b*lls**t in this f**king world like this! KNNBCCB!! Taking away the internet connection without a word and argument is so d*mn f**king unfair! It's not up to him to f**king decide what f**ked up future I f**king wants, and all he wants to do is just f**king show that he can f**k me up whenever he f**king wants to! If you want to be a control fre*k or should I say, control f**ker, look at you f**king balls and pluck them off before approaching me with such f**ked up ideas.

That's not the best part yet. He said after the whole thing, these f**king words which can make one puke his or her intestines inside out.

"I think it's hard to decide whether this is fair or unfair to you."

CH**B*E! Is it so f**king hard to decide?? Is it so hard to distinguish an all-smiling face from menacing-look-cum-pointing-middle-finger one? Spot the f**king difference between black and white? F**king hell, I wonder why do I have such lowlife as my blood-brothers. Their existence threatened to f**k my life up, and their f**king logic which no one could understand. I pity Singapore Armed Forces for having two such f**king morons in camp. Well, one of them isn't that bad, Sergeant JH OOI and Corporal JH OOI. The higher ranking officer always have more common sense, and that happens to be my second eldest brother, who is asleep when Corporal JH OOI and Civilian KS OOI is fighting the war in the living room. Eldest Brother, Corporal JH OOI, though low rank, always f**king boast about his authority in the camp, never wondering when he would be promoted, maybe he knew he never will be.

Today is a f**ked up day, not only because of this, but also because of it's events.

I played soccer, and lost. I played pool, and lost by the most absurd ways possible. I knocked the black ball in on countless times, losing. I pocketed both the black and white balls, meaning my defeat too. I f**king lost in everything.

"I felt disappointed with myself and the rest. I felt disappointed not having the initiative to tell you how I feel, I felt disappointed not being able to see past my brother's decision. I felt disappointed in myself. I tried to make the world revolve around me, which I shouldn't have. I'll lift this heavy boulder off my heart when I next have the chance, so please, I have to disappoint you, but silence, is not the essence."