It's strange, though, for the entire wee early hours of the morning, I spent thinking of you. I flumbered in bed from 1.15am to 2.30, not able to sleep, thinking of you. I just can't say why, I wanted to let the flow be natural, not rushed as the past. However, the more I think, the more I treasure the moments we share, the little time we had together. I've regained my balance after a storm period of unexpected outcomes, now is the time for me to decide what I really want to do. I really want to do well academically, and I want, direly, to be with you. I can't help but think of you when I am alone, I can't help but think of us when I recall.

Suddenly I felt so helpless again. Two paths to choose, yet I'm prefering to just stand at the cross junction, not doing anything. I'll find my answer soon, though I should have done so a long time ago. I'm sorry I put you in such an awkward position, now all the more I feel dreadful because of the things I've said.

Thinking back, I'm so foolish to have been so helpless. It's something no one can help with. I need to change my own mindset, and not be bothered by such thoughts which can cause such a davastating effect, on myself, and you.

Finding myself.