My heart today, is white.

White for me that today is the day I got motivated to do better in my studies.

White for today I'm able to see another of your smiles.

I'm not spying on you, just managed to get a glimspe of you, that's all.

And white for today, I removed the last boulder on my path, I need not get into your way anymore, and that I could finally start my journey.

Here is a long poem I created a long time ago, posted here, as I want you to know, I'm still reachable.

Let Go, Your Soul, My Goal - kS

Impossibilty is just a term used,
By others whose minds are,
Blocked by the cruelty of their lives.

Having said that, I want to try,
To give up the time, and heal my inside.
My thoughts came though, now that I've seen,
When I look at you, my hopes are dim.
Futile it is, to change your mind,
The damage is done, there's no rewind.

I want to try, to try to let go,
Of my hands at your neck, choking. My hold
Of you is too tight. I'm ashamed to say,
and to tell, I'm not alright.
I need help, in this process,
Leave me alone, and I'll die.

This process, it requires you.
The smiling you, and humane as you could,
To choose a suitable place and time,
For my thoughts to be set, for it to rewind.
To a date where the "we", hadn't exist.
For it is then, my healing begins.

Into the past, I will bear anew,
A fruit of experience, no one would knew.
For then, my heart would not ache,
For then, my heart, would not break.
No cold feelings, or tense-ness felt,
No more denials, no more crying for help.

For this to happen, I need your help,
To cement the holes, for pain to repel.
Now you to me, were as cold as a stone,
I need the warmth again, now for my own.
I implore you, to help me, again.
To try to erase, painful times, we've faced.

Letting go isn't easy, I know that by truth,
That's why there's you to guide me,
To pull me through.